Giovanni's Laser Thingy
by Lunamew
Summary: This is supposed to be STUPID! So don't flame me!


Hello,   
It's me Lunamew, *THIS* is my first fanfic. I think, I'm kinda forgot because I was typing two at the same time but I'm pretty sure. I also added a collision of one of my other fanfics in this one.   
  
P.S. I'm just a beginner, if it stinks, don't flame me, it's just for fun. Also, Please review, I barely get any.  
  
  
  
Prologe: Team Rocket has once again raided Silph Co. Industries and has stolen a new dangerous machine, will this mean trouble for Ash and the gang? Duh  
  
  
  
CHAPTER ONE:  
  
  
  
  
As we see the gang of sutpid retarts coming up over the hill, there is and eerie cry in the sky as they look up they see an epic battle between two rival pokemon. " What's that!?" shrieks Misty as one of them lands in her arms. "Pirggy pirrrrrrgge" it cried as it flew out of her arms and back into the sky strait at a another bird thingy, as the battle resumes.  
  
"Well, I guess we should be going before they decide to fight with us." says Misty as she runs for her life. "I'm gonna sketch it." says Tracy as he is being viciously attacked by Pokemon. Wow, they're trying to rip my arm off, I just gotta sketch this.  
  
"Wow, Tracy is more stupid than me. I didn't think that was possible." said Ash  
  
As the gang walks into Pallet town after some training, three pairs of eyes are secretly watching them.   
  
*Oh my, I wonder who it could be? I'm soo confused (sarcastically)*   
  
"They're gonna get it as soon as they leave for Viridian City" cries Meowth happily. "Yeah with that new laser the boss has he's gonna get revenge on them for stopping him from getting Silph Co." says James as he takes off his binoculours.  
  
"Hi Proffeser Oak, you called me?" says Ash as he enters the room. "Ash I've been expecting you,Team Rocket raided Silph Co. again and they stole a laser. I'm going to send you there in hopes of you getting killed so I can have your two dollar slut of a mom all to myself." says Prof. Oak cheerfully.  
  
"That sounds like a great idea proffesser." " You can count on us." says Ash.  
  
"I think you should check out Viridian Gym, pretend your going to battle for a badge or something" says Prof. Oak. "But I already got a Earth Badge, Proffeser Oak." whined Ash annoyingly "Oh I forgot to tell you, Gary is coming with you just in case you don't die. He is also a secret spy" said Prof. Oak as Gary walked into the room.  
  
"Ash, how would you like to die?" asked Gary innocently. "Wow, I can pick? This is going to be a hard decision..."  
  
  
CHAPTER TWO:  
  
  
  
  
Later the next day Ash and the gang arrive at Viridian Gym and request a battle with the gym leader. They walked in through the large intimidating Roman design steel doors. The gym was dark and eerie, the masive doors creaked shut, and a strange whispering sound filled the vicinity. They all looked around to see the gym twinkling with little specks of blue dust. "Hey this isn't dust! this is (yawn) sleeep pow...(snore)" and with that our hero Ash prepared to take a visit to dreamland. "But I don't want a nappy poo." cried Ash. "Fuck you Ash."Misty then clonked him over the head with her pocket mallet.  
  
"Hey, where are we? said Ash as he woke up from his catnap.  
"So Ash Ketchum, we finally meet, so you're the kids who Jessie and James are always whining about." "Would you be like to be the first to test my new laser thingy I got for Christmas?? Giovanni asked. "No, I would not like to test your new piece of junk!" retorted Misty as she stuck out her tounge. " Aww, How come nobody wants to play with me?( Other than James because he's a fagot.)Too bad, you get to test it anyway." said Giovanni all cheerful (like James, the amazing fagot!  
  
"Well, good night." said Giovanni as he tosed a smoke bomb into the cell and they fell asleep once more.  
"Take them to the cages, they may be too...something that I can't think of at this moment because I left the white-out ucapped once I test the laser on them, Ha, ha, ha, hah! cackled Giovanni as T.R. members dragged our heros to the lab.  
  
Suddenly Giovanni started laughing with delight. "Finally, you're all awake." "What did you do to everyone, where are they!?" yelled Misty. "Umm, Misty. We're right behind you ." said Ash   
  
"Oh," said Misty awkwardly. (Everyone sweatdrops).Finally, Gary woke up. Suddenly, without warning, Giovanni pushed the laser activation button, and a bright beam shot out of the laser and headed strait for Gary.   
He got knocked to the back of the cage with a thud. "What the f*** did you do that for you ass ramming uncle f***er?!"  
"Hey, why did you do that to Gary?! Not that I mind, but ya know Proffeser Oak would kill me if I brought him home a fried egg." yelled Ash.  
"He's going to kill you anyway, asshole." said Misty  
Ash and Gary stared at each other.  
  
Giovanni left the room. Ash looked across the room at Misty as she continueously tried to batter the cage with the over-sized mallet she kept in her pocket, then a shout came from across the room," Yo, Ash, do ya mind, your making me nausious!" Ash looked across the room at Gary.   
"You can still talk" said Ash in surprise. "Of course I can talk, what, do you think I got laurangitis or something where I magically stop talking? You moron, you couldn't tell the side of a bus from your fat head! replied Gary.  
Ash said," Look who's talk'n bird brain!" Moucous mouth snot-rag." retorted Gary.  
  
"SHUTUP, your both givin me a headache! If you two are gonna fight like this at least get me some popcorn." yelled Misty. " Why don't you two try and get out of these cages before Giowhatzit gets back  
"Too late" snickered a voice from across the room. " Can you say, I'm Ash Ketchum, the biggest *********************** in Pallet who's gonna get fried if he doesn't shut-up within the next five seconds" said Giovanni  
"Why should I ?!" shouted Ash. Just then, a portal appears on the wall.  
"We're back Minime." said a devilish voice in the portal as two unfamiliar figures appeared. "Who are you?" questioned Giovanni. "Why I'm Dr. Evil and this is my secret volcano lair."he said   
"No it's not. You must be in the wrong show or something." said Giovanni confused. "Oh... Come Minime, let's go get a hotpocket." And the portal disappeared.  
"That was disturbing." said Ash as he shuddered at the thought. "Oh well, back to buissness   
  
Then, Giovanni pressed the laser activation beam and zapped Ash in his right arm. Ash slammed against the side of the swinging cage and held his hand over the spot where the beam had taken impact. "Owww, that hurt." whined Ash as he lifted up his hand to see the damage. His arm had a burn mark on it the size of one of those little patches that you put on your backpack.  
" That's why" snickered Giovanni. Just then, James walked in. " Boss, you wanted me?" said James as he twiddled his thumbs.   
  
"Ahh, yes, James. I need you to run down to Lab room B1, and get three viles. They should be labled M-2, A-1, and Z-6. Now hurry before I fry you like the little bug you are." said Giovanni. James ran out the door and down the hall out of sight.  
Soon, James was back with a box. James handed Giovanni the box, and then he opened the box and pulled out three viles marked M-2, A-1, and Z-6.  
"Which one should I use first? Ahh, I know, this one." said Giavonnie as he picked up the vile marked M-2 and loaded in a little slot on the left side of the control panel to the laser. " Hey, what's in those viles? questioned Misty. " You'll find out soon enough." replied Giovanni not even bothering to look at her. Giovanni, after banging on it a few times, finally got the laser active.   
  
  
CHAPTER 3: Pi pika chu chupi chu ka pi pika!  
(Shut you f***ing face uncle f***er)  
  
  
"Who will defy me first?" Giovanni said. "I will! I will. No, pick me! No, me!" everyone shouted like first graders.  
" Fine, it doesn't matter to me. You will all meet the same fate." Then there was a crash. everyone leaned as far as they could to one side of the cage to see what had made the noise.  
  
"Ha, you'll never get me!" shouted a taunting voice from down the hall. "Then a figure skidded into the room. "They'll never find me in here." then he turned around, "Juuust great! I run from them. And I manage to run into the very room thet were taking me to. Real smart. My day just really sucks big doodoo!"  
The escapee was Lance, the dragon trainer. He was recently taken hostage for reasons not allowed to mention in a fanfic of this rating.  
  
Without warning, Giovanni took this opportunity to swing the laser around and fire it at Lance who wasn't so lucky. It was a direct hit, but he managed to get up and keep running. After a minute or so, a group of guards ran by the door. Apparently chasing after Lance. "Meep meep!" A couple of TR members in coyote costumes went zooming down the hall on ACME rockets.  
"It's okay, he won't last that long anyways." snickered Giovanni with an almost evil smirk on his face. "What do you mean by that?" asked Gary, fear slightly audible in his tone.  
  
"Aww don't worry, it's your turn next." he snickered, as he flipped a switch on the control panel and the laser began to glow as a sign of powerup.  
"I'm toast," said Gary as the beam of energy flew like lighting towards him.   
WHAAAM!!! The beam hit Gary and he was knocked against the other side of his small prison. "Dang, I think that hurt. I can't really tell now because of my concusion and the brain damage.  
  
"I'm bored again..." cried an annoying little voice. "Leave me alone. This fic sucks enough as it is." 'Just because I was lazy and decided to upload a fic I typed in fifteen minutes doesn't mean anything. Even though this will be eventually deleted and replaced by the real thing." the author stated. "Wait, didn't I already give this speech, didn't I already delete the the temporary one? Isn't this the real thing? Aren't I annoying?"   
"This ending sucks, I'm changing to script.  
  
*everyone waits impatiently*  
  
Lunamew: Yay, I fixed it.  
  
everyone: fixed what?  
  
Lunamew: the ending of course. I had a review that said the ending needed to be   
worked on and another about all the spelling errors that I made trying to rush this fic.  
  
all: Oooooooohhhhhh.  
  
Lunamew: This ending should have something funny... How about Ash dies, Giovanni is found sleeping with Ash's mom and has a *talk* with Proffeser Oak, Gary turns out to work for the Digi-mob, Tracy gets his eyes pecked out, Misty gets run   
over by a steamroller, and Brock happens to be Mimi's boyfriend. Sound good? Any objections?  
  
Ash: Wouldn't getting killed hurt?  
  
Lunamew: If you know how to work the procedure, yes, it can be quite painful.  
  
Ash: Why do you want to kill me? I thought you liked Pokemon?  
  
Lunamew: Yes I do, very much. But everyone thinks it's funny as hell if you and other characters such as Davis from Digimon die horrible, overly rated, bloody deaths.  
  
Davis: So that's why I'm getting killed every other fic.  
  
Lunamew: Exactly! Since you're already here, you two can battle to the death in a Roman Collusium.  
  
both: Wouldn't that hurt?   
  
Lunamew: Yes, it would now shut up! Damn, I have to finish my Math homework, time out, everyone take five.  
  
5 minutes later...  
  
Lunamew: I done! Ash, Davis, are you done writing your wills yet cause there are a lot of people who want to see you fight to the death!  
  
*crickets chirping*  
  
everyone:*looks in locker rooms* (There's a not on the bench  
  
Note: Dear Lunamew,  
We hit the road Jack!   
And ain't gonna come back!   
No more, no more, no more!  
  
Screw You,  
Ash and Davis  
  
P.S. We think you suck large portions of turkey butt.  
  
Lunamew: There goes the battle to the death.   
  
Misty: Don't you have to kill me?  
  
Lunamew: No, *kills Misty* but I think it's still fun to kill you anyway. See ya later peoples. And remember to be nice and review.  
  
Piedmon:Well, that sucked.  
  
Puppetmon:As much as you?  
  
Piedmon: F*** you, F*** you right in the ear.  
  
Puppetmon:You'd probably do that cause you're queer.  
  
Lunamew: Do you two insist on saying that every fic?  
  
Piedmon&Puppetmon: Yes.  
  
Lunamew: Just Revew okay.  
  
  
  



End file.
